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170 Thoughts in our database

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>Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others, whenever they go.  
>If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.  
>Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.  
>Déjà Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.  
>The Miss Universe pageant is rigged. All the winners are from Earth.  
>Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!  
>Why can't you hear a pterodactyl on the toilet?  
>How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.  
>A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet and got lost at C.  
>What do you call a plane that's about to crash? An "Error Plane".  
>If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane from that stuff?  
>Taking off is optional .... landing is mandatory.  
>A smile is the universal welcome.  
>A line is a dot that went for a walk.  
>The best vision is insight.  
>If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.  
>Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.  
>Reality continues to ruin my life.  
>Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.  
>I don't need you to remind me of my age - my bladder does that  
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