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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. Murphy 
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference. Murphy 
Mother nature is a bitch. Murphy 
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Murphy 
When all else fails, read the instructions. Murphy 
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over. Murphy 
If you fool around with anything long enough, you will screw it up. Murphy 
Every solution breeds new problems. Murphy 
Man who walk sideways through airport turnstile, going to Bangkok. New Chinese Proverb 
A rumour goes in one ear and out many mouths. Old Chinese Proverb 
If the truth be dangerous, retire adroitly, without lying. Phoenix 
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it. Phoenix 
The hurrier I go, the behinder I get. Phoenix 
A search in time saves mine. Phoenix 
I'm white and used for cutting and grinding. When I'm damaged, humans usually remove me or fill me. For most animals I am a useful tool. What am I? Phoenix 
I do not hold the desert, only a sample. My innards descend ever so slowly.... But in time I am turned over to begin again. Phoenix 
12 members were present at a board meeting. Each member shook hands with all of the other members before and after the meeting. How many hand shakes were there? Phoenix 
If you can't get things right the first time, don't try skydiving. Phoenix 
If the truth be dangerous, retire adroitly, without lying. Phoenix 
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Steven Wright 

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