Binding: Hardcover
EAN: 9785552002382
ISBN: 5552002385
Label: W. W. Norton & Company
Manufacturer: W. W. Norton & Company
Number Of Items: 1
Publication Date: 1987-05
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Studio: W. W. Norton & Company

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With compassion and humor, the authors challenge the widespread belief that constant sibling conflict is natural and unavoidable; instead, they offer a positive approach with suggestions parents can use to teach their children how to get along with each other.
Sibling relationships are often fraught with rivalry, jealousy, bitterness, and violence, and the older kids get, the worse the problems seem to get. Sibling strife can be agony for the parents, and few are prepared for the intensity of the battles and emotions that their kids have with each other. The title, Siblings Without Rivalry promises a lot, and Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (coauthors of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk) deliver the goods: a positive approach and specific techniques to help bring peace and cooperation into your home.

Siblings Without Rivalry is organized by sections: the importance of expressing hostile feelings, the perils of comparisons, teaching kids to work out conflicts on their own, and what to do when they fight. The "Reminder" pages, humorous examples that ring true, and great cartoons by Kimberly Ann Coe all make this book an easily accessible resource. Faber and Mazlish will help you understand sibling rivalry from the inside out, and you'll gain insight on your relationships with your own siblings, as well.

Customer Rating:
Summary: Read their other books too - but this was HUGE when we added our 2nd child
Comment: Fortunately for us, we were already exploring parenting books and had read "How to Talk" by the time our 2nd child was due. This book opened our eyes to things that people say to or expect from the older sibling that can get things off to a bad start, and then of course build over the years. We were lucky, I think, to get off to such an easy start. My girl and boy -still- like to do things together and talk/support/hang with with each other, even as teens. They also are building their own lives separate from each other, but are clearly friends.
The techniques and insights can be applied to any ages, as others have posted here about diffusing situations with their kids. I always talk about this book if the topic of sibling fights comes up - we've had so few in all these years. So now I'm reviewing it finally too, after so many years of recommending it in person. (I also recommend "How to Talk...")

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Customer Rating:
Summary: Try Having Twins!
Comment: When my twins started arguing incessantly, I knew I needed help! I went to ParentsDigest to figure out which books sounded most helpful. This one appealed to me because the authors actually asked other parents what worked (or didn't) when they were younger, as well as what seemed to increase or decrease the level of rivalry between their children. It was like getting advice not just from the authors, but from the wisdom of hundreds of other parents who'd been in my shoes as well.

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Customer Rating:
Summary: Wow, why didn't I think of that?
Comment: This is hands down the most helpful parenting book I have read. It will not only help you understand why you may have experienced rivalry with your own siblings, it will help you prevent these same issues from injuring your own childrens' bonds. The authors use support group participants' real-life examples to discuss how we, as parents, unknowingly label our children (He's our athlete, she's our artist, etc.), create unfair comparisons (Your sister ate all of her vegetables, your brother made an "A", etc.), become the referee in disputes rather than facilitating problem-solving, and many more. Unlike many other parenting books available, this will leave you with specific guidelines and ideas that you can actually use and receive immediate results.

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Customer Rating:
Summary: Just What We Needed!
Comment: I have two daughters who used to get along quite well. But since the summer, their acceptable level of sibling rivalry has escalated to a very uncomfortable level. We were desperate to "nip it in the bud" before things really got out of hand. This book is already doing the trick - and it only arrived in the post yesterday! I practically devoured the book as soon as I took it out of the package!

My husband gave me the task of reading up on things, because I'm a very fast and focused reader, and we needed the help a.s.a.p! I finished the book today, and have started reading it again to take notes and make summaries to keep on hand. I have already put some of the lessons into practice and notice the difference already. For example, arguments are easily diffused because feelings are validated. I've also stopped "positive comparison", after I read, with horror, the potential harm it can do.

This book may be a bit of a shock for parents who are used to saying, "because I said so!" or who use physical punishment. However, for us, it is another step forward in the journey of being the liberal parents we consider ourselves to be.

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Customer Rating:
Summary: Awesome Reading!
Comment: This book not only helped me with my relationship with my kids...it helped me understand some of the issues between my siblings & me & my parents while growing up. Must read if you have children!

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