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A bad marriage is like a horse with a broken leg, you can shoot the horse, but it don't fix the leg.  a Marriage Counsellor 
It matters not whether the cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice.  a new Chinese Proverb 
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.  Aaron Levenstein 
The difference between an Irish Wake and an Irish Wedding is that there is one less drunk.  an Irishman 
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.  Bird Brain 
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.  Dee Vorced 
The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.  George W. Bush 
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.  George W. Bush 
The future will be better tomorrow.  George W. Bush 
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.  George W. Bush 
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.  George W. Bush 
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.  Groucho Marx 
There's no I in TEAM, but there is ME, if you jumble the letters.  House 
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.  Isadora Duncan 
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.  Kids 
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.  Kids 
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.  Mark Twain 
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.  Murphy 
When in doubt, mumble.  Murphy 
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.  Murphy 


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